Few questions have been debated more persistently, or arise more often in slightly different forms, than how men and women are meant to relate in the home and the church. Complementarians hold that men and women are equal in dignity and worth while being given some distinct roles; egalitarians hold that no role is restricted by gender. I hold to the former, and these are the books that have most helped me understand it and live it. (This is a related but different question from the one I address in my recommendations on gender identity.)
Top Recommendation
Burk remains firm in his positions but charitable toward those who disagree, presenting their viewpoints with the accuracy they deserve, and he insists rightly that this is a discussion between believers rather than one that divides Christians from non-Christians. It is a solid defense of a very defensible position, and more than that it lays out a positive vision for complementarianism that will help Christians navigate issues in the home, the church, and far beyond. I highly recommend it.
Other Recommendations
Those who read it will better understand the complementarian position and see how it is grounded in God’s Word. They will understand some of the contemporary challenges to that position and learn why such challenges are invalid, and they will know better how to live out their theology in their own lives, their own churches, and their own families.
Less about establishing the conviction than about practising it well. It is meant to help Christians—and church leaders in particular—turn biblical convictions into a positive church culture: one that celebrates both the distinction and the equality of the genders, and that frees both men and women to serve in all the ways God permits and invites them to.
Subtitled “A New Path to Liberalism?” Grudem has done the church a great service in showing that this discussion is not merely about how particular churches operate, but about which churches can remain faithful in the future and which will drift further from the authority of Scripture. See also his fuller Evangelical Feminism and Biblical Truth, and Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, which he co-edited with John Piper.
Why authority is so important to the home, the church, and wider society, and how men can embrace it as a means to honour God and be a blessing to those they lead. A condensed version of his larger Authority.
Women's Ministry in the Local Church
Duncan and Hunt focus specifically on the unique opportunities women have to serve in the life of the local church—the practical outworking of the convictions the other books here defend.
(See also my recommendations on books for women, men & masculinity, and marriage.)
