Every generation of parents faces challenges as they raise their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. While some challenges are the same from age to age, others are unique to a particular time and context. Perhaps the greatest challenge of our day relates to new notions of gender, sexuality, and identity. Today’s parents need to equip themselves to understand these issues and train their children in them. Thankfully, we have many excellent resources available to us. Though I haven’t read them all, I have read quite a few. Here are some of the ones I most often recommend.
Grounded in Grace: Helping Kids Build Their Identity in Christ by Jonathan Holmes. This book focuses specifically on matters of identity. Holmes teaches parents the challenges children are facing today and how to counter them by helping their children establish an identity in Christ rather than gender, performance, accomplishments, or anything else. It covers a lot of different issues and provides practical, actionable instruction. (You can read my review or check it out at Amazon)
More to the Story: Deep Answers to Real Questions on Attraction, Identity, and Relationships by Jennifer Kvamme. Kvamme has worked with students for many years and is accustomed to helping them work through some of the big questions related to sexuality, identity, intimacy, orientation, and so on. This book is written primarily for teens and young adults, though parents will benefit from it as well. The heart of the book is answers to ten big questions such as: Why does God care what I do with my body (if I’m not hurting anyone)? What am I supposed to do with such strong feelings of sexual desire? Why does it matter what pronouns I use? Why is sex “good” in marriage but “bad” before it? Along the way, she covers identity, gender, singleness, pornography, dating, abuse, and more. (You can read my review or check it out at Amazon)
Parenting without Panic in an LGBT-Affirming World: Discipling Our Kids with Jesus’ Truth and Love by Rachel Gilson. Christ parents are responsible for equipping their children to live and thrive in a culture in which LGBT identities are not only affirmed but celebrated. Gilson wants parents to proactively teach their children about God’s design for their bodies, gender, and sexuality and to do so from a young age. This book is meant for parents of young children and instructs them in discipling their children with Jesus’ truth and love. (You can check it out at Amazon)
What Do I Say When…?: A Parents’ Guide to Navigating Cultural Chaos for Children and Teens by Andrew & Christian Walker. Today’s parents are raising their children in a time of rapid cultural change when the specific forms of rebellion and the questions they raise are different from previous generations—sometimes subtly different and sometimes utterly and completely different. Parents can easily feel overwhelmed and may respond by attempting to shelter their children nearly completely and indefinitely. This book is meant to serve as a guide for parents who want to help their children and teens navigate the cultural chaos. Through ten chapters it takes on ten big questions and helps parents speak to their children in ways that are appropriate to different ages. (You can read my review or check it out at Amazon)
The Gender Revolution: A Biblical, Biological and Compassionate Response by Patricia Weerakoon with Robert Smith and Kamal Weerakoon. This is a book that, as the subtitle suggests, provides a biblical, biological, and compassionate response to the modern-day gender ideology. It is not written for parents per se, but will still serve them well. One of the book’s strengths is in its combination of authors: One is a doctor, counselor, and sex therapist, another is a missions director, and the third is a theological lecturer. This brings unique diversity and strength. Together they provide strong teaching about what is true and strong rebuttals of what is false. (You can read my review or check it out at Amazon)
The Holy Sexuality Project by Christoper Yuan. This is not a book but a video-based curriculum that is meant for families or groups to watch together. The series is comprised of 12 lessons, each of which is in the neighborhood of 20 minutes long. Yuan begins by telling his story and then progresses to matters of identity, attraction, and action and from there into many of the issues that are most pertinent today—same-sex attraction, homosexuality, transgenderism, and so on. (You can read my review or check it out at holysexuality.com)
A Field Guide on Gender and Sexuality by Ligonier Ministries is a concise but still weighty guide on matters of gender and sexuality. (You can read my review or check it out on Amazon)
